With restricted mobility and social interaction during the lockdowns, children have not seen many people other than their immediate family members in months. This may cause separation anxiety in children whether they are going to school for the first time in their lives or they had been attending school before the COVID 19 lockdowns were imposed.
In this article, we will talk specifically about separation anxiety from the point of view of pre-primary children who are attending school for the first time and what the parents can do to help the child with the transition. It will also talk about what the school and the educators can do to assist children. First, we will find out what separation anxiety is.
What is Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety is a normal behavior in children between the ages of 6 months – 3 years of age. Sometimes it may continue even when the child is older and it can affect teens and adults too.
The problem often manifests itself when a parent or primary caregiver has to go away or the child is placed in an unfamiliar environment. The children undergo immense stress and are worried until they learn that these separations are only temporary. The fear and stress manifest themselves as distress and altered behavior which is classified as separation anxiety.
Signs of Separation Anxiety in Young Children.
One of the biggest signs of separation anxiety in young children is excessive crying when the caregiver or parent is out of sight or away. However, there are other signs of separation anxiety too that the children display.
- Clinging – The child clings to the parent or the caregiver in unfamiliar places or strange circumstances or when they feel that the caregiver is leaving.
- Fear of Strangers – When the child is afraid of strangers and refuses to interact with them.
- Refusing To Leave Home – The child doesn’t want to go out or away from the home even for fun activities or displays nervousness and fear at the mention of leaving the home.
- Refusing to Sleep Alone – When a child refuses to go to sleep alone or wakes up at night and cries for the caregiver.
- Nightmares – The child regularly reports dreams of being separated from loved ones.
- Being Physically Sick – When a child is removed from the presence of a familiar person or a caregiver and he/she gets physically sick. IT may manifest as vomiting headaches.
- Violent Behavior – Some children express their anxiety in the form of violent behavior. This may include temper tantrums, hitting, kicking, screaming, rolling on the floor, etc.
When you see these signs in your child, you need to help them to overcome this unfounded fear so they can adjust to the new situations more easily and without stress.
What Can Parents do to Help With Separation Anxiety
Almost all children, when they first go to school, suffer from separation anxiety. It is a natural reaction as it is a completely different place with lots of new people and also a completely different routine. However, intervention from the parents can ease this transition for the child. Here is what parents can do to help their child cope with separation anxiety when preparing them for preschool.
- Talk to the child about the school – tell the child about the school and what happens there. Explain about the people he/she will meet there and things that they can do. Talk positively about games to play and fun things to do, creating an exciting, happy, and positive picture that encourages the child to explore the possibility of liking the new place.
- Visit the school – Visit the school with your child. Take him/her around the school. Show the schoolroom and the play spaces. Pointing out all the different activities he/she will be doing each day and creating a positive impression.
- Meet the teacher – If the school allows it, take your child to meet the teacher. Interact with the teacher in the presence of the child and if possible, have the child interact with the teacher. Show the child that the teacher is someone to be trusted and can be depended upon. This will help the child form an attachment to the teacher and reduce anxiety.
- Introduce him/her to other children – Set up playdates for your child with other children who may be attending the same school. Seeing familiar faces and children your child already knows will make the transition easier. Start this a few weeks before the child begins school.
- Keep Calm – Parents too suffer from separation anxiety when they first send children to school. It is a normal process. However, the parents must remain calm in front of their child. Children take their cues from their parents and if you show your anxiety, nothing is stopping them from feeling anxious too.
Following the above can ease the transition for your child and help it to adjust to a new routine, strange place, and strange people more easily.
How to Drop Off Your Child At School
The first day at school will be anxious no matter how much you prepare your child for school. So here are some do’s and don’ts of dropping off your child at school:
- Create a goodbye routine – Any routine is comforting and it helps the child to understand that a transition is happening and can prepare for this transition. The routine could be a hug, a kiss, a simple handshake, or a pat on the back.
- Do not just disappear – Though you may want to sneak away as it will puzzle and scare your child if you suddenly disappear without saying goodbye. So say your goodbye and then leave without prolonging the routine.
- Let the child have a comforting object - A favorite toy or a dress can be a little reminder of home and can be comforting to the child.
- Remind the child that you will return – Before leaving, promise to come back and pick up the child. When you come to pick him or her up, reinforce the idea by mentioning that you kept your promise.
- Incentives for attending school without a fuss – Promise the child a treat or an outing if they behave themselves when going to school. Do keep the promise.
While it is mostly the parents who need to work on the anxiety of the child, the schools too can help.
How Can School Help a Child Cope With Separation Anxiety
Separation anxiety can be addressed at school too. In most pre-schools, the teachers are aware of separation anxiety and are taught to deal with it effectively. The teachers can collaborate with the parents to help ease the symptoms and reinforce confidence in the child. The best strategy used by educators is to enhance the sense of independence and confidence in the child. By instilling a sense of competence, the child can learn to overcome anxiety.
Conclusion
At Green Grass Nursery, our EYFS educators are trained to deal with separation anxiety in young children. They work with the parents to reassure the child and make the school time fun and happy so the child loves coming to school without making a fuss.
Arwa Naccho
CEO
Green Grass Nursery
